>> Welcome

Last Time We Spoke is an online extension of Theory of Flames, a film opera by Michel van der Aa, presented as part of the Opera Forward Festival at the Dutch National Opera in Amsterdam.

It takes the form of a collection of messages. Stories about connection, conversation, and what happens when people who care about each other begin to see the world differently.

This project invites you to step deeper into the themes surrounding the opera by reading the stories shared here and contributing your own.

Theory of Flames will premiere on March 6th 2026 and run for five performances as part of the Opera Forward Festival in Amsterdam.

Last time we spoke...

...we laughed. It was brief and unexpected, and it’s the sound I remember most clearly now.

Even though so much has changed since then, that moment still feels close, like something I can return to.

Last time we spoke...

...it wasn’t about solving anything or reaching some clear conclusion. It was just two people taking the time to stay connected in a world that constantly pulls attention elsewhere, and I remember thinking afterward how rare and grounding that felt.

It reminded me that communication doesn’t always have to arrive in moments of crisis to matter, that sometimes it’s the ordinary check-ins, the shared pauses, the unremarkable updates that quietly keep us tethered to one another.

Last time we spoke...

Last time we spoke, it felt like an agreement. Unspoken but understood that we would keep showing up, keep asking, keep listening, even when life gets noisy or overwhelming, even when it feels easier to disappear for a while. And I think that’s how we stay safe, and sane, and human: not by having perfect conversations, but by refusing to let silence do all the talking for us.

Last time we spoke...

...there was a pause that felt heavier than the words we exchanged. We were careful, polite, and a little distant. Since then, I’ve replayed that conversation in my mind, wondering how silence can sometimes say as much as what is spoken.

Last time we spoke...

You told me you were worried about where the world was heading. I told you I was worried about us. We sat with that for a long time, and for once neither of us tried to fix it.

Last time we spoke...

You told me you were worried about where the world was heading. I told you I was worried about us. We sat with that for a long time, and for once neither of us tried to fix it.

Last time we spoke...

We spoke for three hours and changed nobody’s mind. But we ordered food and watched something stupid afterwards. It felt like remembering how to be together again. I guess we don’t have to agree about everything.

Last time we spoke...

It felt different. We used to interrupt each other because we were excited. Now we interrupt because we’re afraid of where the other person is going.

Last time we spoke...

You told me you trusted your instincts more than institutions.

Last time we spoke...

You said you felt like the world finally made sense to you. I didn’t have the heart to tell you that you’d stopped making less sense to me.

Last time we spoke...

I realised that it’s possible to love someone and feel completely lost when they explain how they see the world. Both of those things can be true at the same time.

Last time we spoke...

I realised I’ve started rehearsing conversations before they happen. I prepare answers for things that haven’t even been said yet. That can’t be a good sign.

Last time we spoke...

I started to realise how much identity is tied up in what we believe to be true. When those beliefs are questioned, it doesn’t just feel like information being challenged. It feels personal.

Last time we spoke...

I keep wondering if we’d get along if we met for the first time now.

Last time we spoke...

I realised that even when we don’t see eye to eye, the fact that we keep talking is something. It feels small, maybe silly, but it matters. Just hearing your voice, or getting a message, reminds me that connection isn’t only about agreement. It’s about showing up, and I’m grateful we still do.

Last time we spoke...

I still felt connected - even when we disagree, even when the world feels chaotic, there’s a trust there that makes it possible to be honest and messy and for that to be ok. I guess that’s pretty rare these days.

Last time we spoke...

We talked about small things, and even though nothing was serious, it felt like building a bridge back to normalcy. Connection isn’t always about fixing problems. It can just be about creating moments where we feel together.

Last time we spoke...

I told you that respect and attention are stronger than agreement.